Struggling to Survive
by Limby
Summary: Can Kim and Ron's relationship survive an affair?  Emotional story about picking up the pieces.  COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Hello one and all! Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, favorited, and set alerts for my story Waste Not Want Not. I am overwhelmed by your support! (I am still working on the next chapters for that work, I promise this little sidetrack will not take long.)

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Kim Possible, this is purely for fun and not for profit. (I reserve the right to amend and revise any addition disclaimers as needed. Infinity.)

This is a departure from my usual style. I think some will like it I know others won't. Let me know what you think.

P.S. I'm giving my proof reader some time off on this one, so expect a few errors. (He deserves a life, and I don't want to use him up before I'm done with WNWN. Lol That said CajunBear73, remains THE MAN!)

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**Struggling to Survive**

She was Kim Possible, and she could do anything, including 'make the biggest mistake of her life'.

She had been so happy with Ron by her side. She loved him, even though he wasn't a "golden boy", he was perfect for her. Every foible, every weird thing that made up Ron's "Ronness" somehow perfectly matched with Kim's own "Kimmieness". He was scared of everything, and she had no fear. She couldn't count the number of times his cautiousness saved her from running headlong into a dangerous sitch. She was driven, he was laid back. She helped Ron accomplish great things, and he helped her smell the roses along the way. The list went on and on. Separately they were every different people, but together they were the perfect couple. Well that was until she lost her mind and, in an act of insane stupidity, cheated on him.

Kim knew Ron was insecure, and could get a little jealous at times. That's why when Josh Mankey asked Kim to help out with a Saturday art camp for the local kids in town, she didn't bother to tell Ron all the details. Well she specifically didn't tell him Josh was organizing the camp. For the week leading up to camp Kim would go over to Josh's house and plan out events and activities.

It all started so innocently, so subtly. A lingering glance here, a brush of a touch when passing supplies back and forth. Soon that lead to a brief hug good bye, a little batting of the eyes, some playful banter. Just "innocent flirting", no big, it's not like it meant anything, right?

Kim would have given anything to go back in time and put a stop to it there and then. Kim honestly believed the good book when it said (to paraphrase) 'This is no temptation to great that can not be resisted.'. When her downfall came, when she was tempted, she couldn't resist. Later when her world was falling apart, she questioned her faith, at least that verse. But like a lighting bolt, she saw the truth. She knew the early flirting was wrong, she knew she should stop it but she didn't. Her chance to resist, was before she metaphorically started throwing rocks up hill. When the resulting rock slide broke lose and came crashing down, it was too late to do anything about it.

All week the playful banter and flirting escalated. The Saturday art camp was a big hit with the kids. After all the kid's were packed up and sent home, Kim and Josh started cleaning up. The flirting continued until Josh grabbed Kim and kissed her. In a rush of adrenaline she kissed him back fervently. A part of her, in the back of her mind cried out, begging her to put a stop to this, but she pushed the voices away. She allowed herself to get lost in a sea of hormones and lust. This wasn't love, she already had the love of her life at home, this was just desire.

The kissing lead to touching, touching to striping, striping to ... well 'the act'. It didn't take more that a moment after his release, for her to start thinking clearly, to start to realize just how terrible a mistake she had made. Josh apparently didn't have the same reservations.

"Kim, I love you. I'm in love with you, and have been for a long time. I know you love me too ..." and other words were lost when the right cross sent him to a heap on the ground.

"Shut up!!" Kim wore a look of agony and self loathing. Tears filled her eyes. "How did I let this happen? How could we let this happen? I love Ron, I love him so much, and I just put all of that at risk. I'm sorry Josh. I'm sorry I hit you, and I'm sorry that I don't love you back."

"Kim, give me a chance, you don't understand how much I love you!"

"No Josh, and if you loved me, you would have known how much this was going to hurt me. If you truly loved me, you would have stopped me from becoming the kind of woman I despise. You would have stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life."

Kim quickly got dressed and drove back to town. She ending up in a old tree house. A place that held special memories for her, and the man she loved. She spent hours crying over what she had done. She was too scared to even think about the consequences. She was dieing inside, but she couldn't, wouldn't, keep the truth from Ron. She called him, and asked him to meet her at the tree house.

Her confession, his reaction. Kim had been beaten up pretty bad in the course of her missions, but she would have gladly relived those a hundred times over than have to relive that conversation. His eyes, those beautiful brown pools of warmth and childlike joy died before her. His face, a cold blank mask. He could have been mistaken for a corpse if it wasn't for his fighting to breath.

"I need some time to think Kim, give me a few days to work this out." He started to leave.

"Please Ron! I'm so sorry, I need you, I love you. Can't we work this out together."

"NO!" he screamed. Taking a breath he relaxed a little and spoke again. "No. Kim I need some time alone. When I'm ready, I'll talk to you."

Saturday night, and all day Sunday, Kim spent in her room crying. Her parents tried to talk to her, but she wasn't in the mood to discuss what happened, so for now they decided to leave her alone.

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Ann Possible was awakened Monday morning at 5:30am by the sound of slamming doors, and running feet. Quickly she jumped out of bed, and followed the noise to the front door, where Kim stood in pajamas in front of Ron.

Ann quickly put some pieces together. This was way to early for either teen to be up, but if Ron wanted to walk to school he had to go by their house. He obviously was hoping to avoid Kim. Kim, must have suspected as much, and been looking our her window, waiting for him to walk by. Ann stayed in the shadow of the doorway a listened to their conversation.

"Ron, we need to talk."

"Aren't you suppose to say that before you go screwing around? I'm not ready to talk to you just yet, so just give me some more time."

"No Ron, I need you to hear me out now! I'm sorry about what I did. I love you, and you mean so very much to me ..."

"God dammit Kim! Aren't you listening to me! I don't want to hear it! You obviously don't respect my feelings, is it so hard to respect my wishes!? ... Well fine, you want to talk, well then I got a question for you. Tell me Kim, I'm dieing to know. In that moment, you know the moment when you were with Mankey, and you knew you should stop before things got out of hand, but you didn't. Did you think of us, and then decided to risk it anyway, or did I not even cross your mind?"

Kim stood silently stunned for a moment. Every time she thought her heart couldn't break into any more pieces, it would shatter all over again.

"Not talking Kim? I thought you wanted to! You know what, don't answer. I swear to God, right now I don't know which answer would hurt more."

The tears started to flow down her face. "Not like this Ron, please, just let me talk. I'm sorry, I love you, and you mean so very, very much to me ..."

"Save it Kim!! I already know what you're going to say, and I don't want to hear it! Nothing you say, can take away one ounce of the pain I'm feeling right now. Nothing you can say will turn back time and stop you from cheating on me. So I have to ask myself why you've been so eager to talk you me. I know you probably rehearsed your little speech a million times in your head Kim. Just this once, be honest with me, be honest with yourself. What you have to say isn't meant to make things right, or to make me feel better, it's to make you feel better. Well I'm sorry Kim, but right now I'm dealing with my own pain and feelings of betrayal, to give a good god damn about helping you come to terms with what you did. Tell me I'm wrong Kim. Tell me you have words that make me feel better about what happened."

She knew he was right, mentally review her speech, nothing she had planned would help ease his pain. All she could think to do was say what was in her heart. "I love you Ron."

"Well I guess we have a very different idea of what love is."

Kim's shoulders rose up and down with her sobs. Her brain understood why Ron wasn't holding her, comforting her. However, to her body, the concept of hurting this much and not seeking his embrace, was too foreign a concept to accept. Despite her brain's assurance that it was a mistake, her body acted on it own, her right arm extended toward him. She needed to touch him, needed to bridge the gap between them, needed for him to respond and pull her into his arms. Instead her reach only found air as he walked away from her. She fell to her knees, and then over on her side and wailed like an infant.

Watching Ron walk away, Ann crying with tears in her own eyes, went to Kim and helped her back to her room.

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Wednesday night Ron answered the door and found a teary-eyed Mrs. Possible on his front step. "Ron, after everything that's happened I don't have the right to ask you, but please talk to Kim."

"Ann, she was my whole life. I thought I could trust her with my heart. I'm so lost right now, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Ron, you have every right to take time to figure it out. If you decide to never speak to her again I couldn't blame you. Despite all that, right now my baby is locked in her room and she is refusing to eat. I'm scared Ron." Ann's eyes once again threatened to unleash a torrent of tears. "Ron, the last time I can be sure she ate was four nights ago. If I can't get her to eat tonight, I'll need to admit her to the hospital. They will feed her through a tube, force her through psychiatric observations. If ruled unstable, she can forget about a future in law enforcement or any high stress jobs that require a background check. ... If that's what she needs to get better, I'll do it in a heart beat, and have no regrets about it. However, I don't think she needs psychiatric help, at least not yet. If I could only get her to eat. ... Ronald, please, my baby girl needs help, and I don't know what else to do. I'm begging..."

Ron raised his had to stop Mrs. Possible. "Don't beg. You and Mr. P have been like a second set of parents to me. If you need anything, and it's within my power, all you ever have to do is ask. What you're asking isn't easy for me. I can't promise not to get mad at Kim, and I'm not ready to forgive her. I don't know if I ever will be. But I'll talk to her, I'll make her eat."

Mrs. Possible threw her arms around Ron and cried. "Thank you!"

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Ron had nearly grown up here in the Possible's house. Tonight however it seemed foreign to him. Mr.P was clearly under stress at the state his daughter was in. The tweebs were quite, and that was just too freaky for words. Ron exchanged brief hellos and followed Ann to the kitchen to warm up some food for Kim to eat. After a few minutes, Ron started upstairs with some soup, toast, and a little juice. He reached her door, it was locked. He knocked lightly.

"Please go away." Came the weak voice on the other side.

"No!"

"R..R..Rooonnnnn?" Came a wail from the other side of the door.

"Yes, open up."

She opened the door. She was unable to look him in the face, but she couldn't take her eyes off of him for fear he would disappear. With her eyes firmly locked on his stomach, she slowly walked backwards to her bed and climbed back in. "Hi, Ron" She said in a voice barely above a whisper, and then proceeded to bite at her lower lip.

Ron couldn't believe how terrible she looked. She was always skinny, but 3 days without food, and her skin was hanging to her bones. For a moment his heart sank in worry and concern, but it only lasted a second. 'God what is wrong with me! She broke my heart! She cheated on me, and here I am feeling sorry for her!! I never believed it until this moment, but I really am a loser!' He set the food tray down on her computer table a little more forcefully than was necessary. "They say you're not eating. So, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kim just shrugged her shoulders. "Can't sleep, can't eat, no big."

"No Big!" He yelled.

She cringed at his tone. He was still angry. Ron was never angry before her betrayal. She would have anticipated pain and sorrow. Even crying, but never anger. It was just another sign of how much her actions had devastated him. Every word felt like a slap in the face.

"If you don't eat something you could die." He knew her mom would hospitalize her before it got that bad, but he figured in her frame of mind he could try to scare her a little.

"Would you even care if I died?" She summoned up enough courage to look him in the eye.

He looked her straight in the eye, and just stared for a minute or two. He turned his gaze, and picked up an object that was on the shelf. "I remember this. We were on a mission up Pike's Peak, got snowed in, and had to set up camp. That next day viability was terrible. It was your 15th birthday, and we had to spend it snowbound in camp on the mountain. I couldn't let you go without a present, so I ventured out and found this piece of pink granite. It wasn't much but it wasn't like there was a Smarty Mart near by, so I gave it to you for your birthday."

"Y..y..you didn't ..." she swallowed the lump that was in her throat. "... answer me." Fresh tears filler her eyes.

With speed that astounded her, he took the granite stone in his hand and heaved it at the porcelain lamp by her bedside. Rock and pieces of porcelain crashed together fell unceremoniously to the floor. "Of course I care! But why do you deserve to hear it!! God I'm such a loser! You're the one that cheated! You're the one that took took 14 years of friendship, and my love, and shit all over it, and yet here I am telling you that I still care about you!! Well it's true I do still care, but I hate you too, and the battle going on inside me is driving me nuts!"

His outburst, his words, Shego's plasma never burned half that bad. After three days of weeping, you'd think you would run out of tears, but it appeared Kim found a fresh reservoir that was now flowing like a river down here cheeks.

After a few minutes Ron picked up the food tray and walked to Kim's bed. He sat on the bed near her legs, and put the tray between them. "Eat."

She made a good show by stirring the soup, and picking up the toast before putting it back down without so much as a nibble. Rolling his eyes, he took the spoon and scooped up a lager chuck of chicken, and proceeded to raise it to her. For the first time in days she took a bite of food. He reached for the toast, but she halted his movement by placing her hand over his.

"How much do you hate me?"

"I hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, ..."

She froze and felt another little part of her heart break. He stood up and and to her surprise, moved around the tray, and climbed back on the bed, setting with her, side by side.

He continued "... which happens to be exactly how much I still love you."

She felt herself push closer to him, and slowly lower her head to his solder. After being so sad for so long, it felt strange to her as her lips moved upward into a small smile. That any part of him still loved her, that he could stand to be this close to her. It gave her something she had been living without for the past three days, hope.

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Ron continued to feed her, and after finishing everything on the tray, she hugged his arm and drifted to sleep with her head on Ron's shoulder. Ron drained from his earlier outburst, was nearly ready to surrender to sleep himself, when a soft knock at her door got his attention. Unable to untangle his arm, he softly bid entrance and saw the Drs. P. come into the room. Seeing the empty food tray, and their daughter peacefully sleeping for the first time in days, the Possibles felt their hearts lighten.

Ron told them. "She ate everything." Trying to slip his arm from her embrace Kim's sleep became troubled, and she subconsciously climbed herself up to warp her arms around his neck. Ron sighed. "She's like quicksand, the more I struggle to get lose, the more entrapped I find myself." He flashed them a quick smile.

"So are you two working everything out?" Ann asked.

"I don't know, right now I'm just too tired to fight any more, too tired to think. I know I miss her, I know I love her, but I'm still so hurt, I feel so broken, I'm not ready to trust myself enough to make any decisions. ... I know it's getting late, once she untangles herself, I'll head back home."

"Ronald" James said "Stay here tonight, it would mean a lot to Kim, it would mean a lot to us too." Reaching over an sharing a meaning full look with Ann he grasped her hand, and turned back to Ron and the sleeping Kim. "Me and Ann would really like a chance to talk to you two in the morning. Ron nodded, and Ann collected up the empty dishes and tray. She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Kim's forehead, and a firmer one on Ron's cheek. James lingered a moment after Ann left the room. Reaching in his pocket he produced a small handful of condoms and handed them to Ron.

Ron could not contain his shock. He figured Mr. and Mrs. Possible knew him and Kim were active, but both sides did their best to uphold the illusion of ignorance. "Dr. P, that's the last thing I expect to happen tonight."

"I know Ron, but sometimes emotion doesn't stop to listen to reason. Try not to think to much tonight, clear your mind, and get some sleep. We will talk in the morning." To Ron's surprise James leaned over and gave Ron a kiss on the cheek. "I pray you two can get through this, but I want you to know, no matter what, me and Annie couldn't love you more if you were our own son." Both men's eyes misted over, and James left, closing the door as he went.

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Kim slowly started to wake. Ron was on his back next to her. His pants were on but his shirt was discarded. She was laying on her side with her arm across Ron's stomach, her head on his chest, and one leg swung across his legs. Ron had one arm around her and the other was stroking her hair. She felt Ron tense as he stopped stroking her hair. She closed her eyes and tried to will him to believe her still asleep.

"I know you're awake Kim."

"No, I'm not." She pleaded while looking up into his eyes, her heart sored as she was rewarded with a slight, all be it a sad, smile.

"Can't fool me Kim, the lack of snoring is a dead give away. We need to get up, you parents are waiting for us downstairs."

Turning back to her resting place she gave him a quick squeeze. "Please Ron, just five minutes. I want to stay here in your arms forever, but give me five minutes, and I think I can make it through the day."

Ron swallowed the lump in his throat as he relaxed and resumed caressing her hair. "Alright, five minutes." She nuzzled him in thanks and planted a light kiss on his chest. A half an hour later Ron started to stir again. "We need to get up and get downstairs."

"Ron, I'm scared. I'm scared that this is all just a dream, and it's all going to disappear. Please baby, please tell me we are going to be okay. Tell me you'll find a way to forgive me. I'll doing anything in this world to try to make things right." Tears came to her cheeks once again.

"I got to be honest with you Kim, I just don't know. I'm still really hurt and confused. Right now I'm trying really hard to just not think about it, because when I do, all the pain and rage just comes out. I'm tired of feeling that way, but I don't know how else to feel.

Sitting up, Kim leaned forward and kissed him, trying to put all her love and passion into the kiss, to let him know in ways the words couldn't convey, what he meant to her. He didn't return the kiss, but he didn't turn away from it. For Kim, that was enough for now.

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Everyone ate in silence, but they ate together at the breakfast table. The tweebs had been quite, but did give Kim a hug before running off to school. Neither Kim or Ron felt like attending class today, and both set of parents, after a long phone call last night, agreed. Once the twins were gone James and Ann escorted Kim and Ron to the living room. Having Ron help him, James moved a smaller love seat in front of the coffee table directly facing the couch. It was a little strange seeing the Drs. P. not in their normal recliners, but setting close to one another on the love seat.

Kim felt terrible. Her parents faces both showed a great deal of pain and sadness. She knew they had to be disappointed in her, but she hadn't guessed it would effect them this way. Kim set on the couch. She was glad Ron joined her, but the foot and a half space he left between them, felt to her like miles.

Ann, grabbed James hand and lacing her fingers together with his, gave him a long look, and after receiving a nod, she turned to face Ron and Kim setting on the couch. "We want to talk to you about what happened. We want to know everything." Ann said.

Kim spoke. "Mom, I don't want to even think about it, much less talk about it. I just want Ron to believe how much I love him, how sorry I am, and find a way to get our lives together back on track. What happened is to hard to talk about, to hard to relive. I'm sorry mom, but you can't imagine how much this hurts."

Ann lowered her head. "I don't have to 'imagine' Kim. I know exactly how you're feeling."

... to be continued

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One, maybe two more chapters, then I'm going to stick fork in this story and call it done. My WNWN story is already calling me back.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all my reviewers. I can not tell you how amazed I have been at the reception this story has received.

Special thanks to SolarinStudio for a good thought provoking conversation on relationships and the whole "do tell, don't tell" argument.

Apologies for the delay on this chapter. I seriously rewrote many many times to get it where I wanted it. This is my best attempt at chapter 2 (the final chapter). I hope you enjoy it.

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**Struggling to Survive**

" ... I'm sorry mom, but you can't imagine how much this hurts."

Ann lowered her head. "I don't have to 'imagine' Kim. I know exactly how you're feeling."

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The heads of both teens snapped up with a look a shock and disbelief. Ann's face still studied the carpet, until James lifted her chin, and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "It's okay babe."

Ron and Kim both couldn't believe their ears. Surely they misunderstood. James and Ann Possible were the perfect husband and wife. She didn't mean to imply that she ...

"About a year after me and James were married, I had an affair. It nearly destroyed us and our marriage. My mistake nearly cost me everything that I cherish today."

Needless to say, Kim and Ron were stunned. Kim's brain unable to process the information, leapt to her feet and to the defense of her father for crimes long since past. "How could you!!? How could you do that to daddy!? How ... how ..." her voice became meek as her hypocrisy revealed itself "... how could I have done that to Ron?" Kim bursting into tears as she let Ron guided her back to the couch. This time sitting her next to him. "Mom? What's wrong with us?"

"I don't know Kim, I think different men and women have affairs for different reasons. Some feel like they don't get enough attention at home. Some are drawn those early relationship feelings of butterflies, and goosebumps. Some hunger for the chase. For a few it's a sexual compulsion, or addiction. Some times it's forming a special connection with someone and deciding to pursue it further. My mistake was allowing someone else to take Jame's place, emotionally speaking. That first year of marriage, with my residency, and your father's demanding job, we just didn't see much of each other. I turned to another resident as a confidant, and as a friend. I became more emotional intimate with him, than with James. I don't want you to think it's wrong to form close relationships with other people. It is just that, things like hopes, fears, and dreams, are the things that help build a relationship, or a marriage. By not making time to share these with James, and instead sharing them with someone else, I put myself in a very confusing position. One night after we lost a couple of kids in the ER, I sought him out and cried on his shoulder. I was drained, and felt dead inside. I wanted to feel something, anything. He kissed me, and I ... we ... well, 'it' happened." Fresh tears started to fall.

James reached over, wiped the tears from Ann's cheeks, and hugged her closer. James then addressed the shocked teens. "To Ann's credit, she told me about it that very night. Part of me wished she hadn't told me. I didn't want to know, but I knew we never would have survived if I had found out about it any other way. Of course I didn't exactly appreciate it at the time. At the time, I did a lot of yelling. I am ashamed to admit it, but I was so angry ... so mad ..." Mr. P. struggled with how to say the next part.

"We don't have to do this part." Ann told him.

"No Ann, they deserve the whole truth."

Before James could continue Ron asked "You went out to 'even the score', didn't you?" Ron asked.

Kim looked at him with utter disbelief. Was that what Ron was thinking? Had he already done it? New waves of emotion racked her with their intensity, and their whispers. Jealously - _'Find her and kill her!'_ Denial - _'Ron would never do that to you.'_ Justice - _'He should do it, it would serve you right.'_ Anger - _'I'll kill him!'_ Relief - _'If he did, we're even now, he has to forgive me.' _ Heartache - _'How could he do that to us.'_ Fear - _'If he liked her more, would he leave me to be with her?'_ Irony - _'Is this how Ron has been feeling?'_ Kim wanted to know if Ron had 'evened the score', she burned to ask, but fear of the answer and the wave of conflicting emotions kept her frozen.

James answered Ron, "No, but don't think that hadn't crossed my mind more than a few times back then. I hurt so much I wanted her to hurt too. Having my own affair would have done that, but I took a more immediate and violent path. I ... I lashed out ... I struck Ann."

Kim and Ron looked on in shock, as the two people they formerly thought of as the perfect couple continued to disclose startling revelations from their past.

"James, it's okay. Hey! I love you, I understood how hurt I made you." Ann told him.

"Thanks Ann, but there is still no excuse for what I did."

James and Ann embraced each other, providing comfort and support, for a couple of minutes before James continued. "So Ron, we were talking about 'evening the score'. I know many people react exactly that way. It might provide a momentary distraction, but I doubt you will find it solves anything. Is that something you've been considering, or have already done? I don't see where anyone here would be in much a position to condemn you if you did."

Kim felt the world grind to a halt. It was as if time itself froze and the only thing left in motion was her heart as it was threatening to burst out of her chest. She wanted to know, but she didn't. She wanted to scream, and she wanted to sink into the couch and remain hidden. All she could do was remain frozen and hope the next words our of Ron's mouth did cause her heart to physically rip into two bloody pieces.

"Sunday I was still shocked and hurt. Mom and Dad were away, which suited me fine, I was in no mood to talk anyway. I had an unexpected visitor, someone who knew about Kim and Josh. I won't get into the details for her sake, but it was made clear that they thought I should take the opportunity to get back at Kim."

Part of Kim still hovered on heartbreak, but a new emotion was quickly on the rise. _'Even if something happened it wasn't Ronnie's fault. He was hurt and upset, and some little good for nothing slut has the balls to come around tempting him like that. I don't know who the hell she thinks she is, but when I get done with her... that ... that ...'_ "that bitch!!" She didn't realize that last bit was out loud until she noticed everyone was looking at her. "Um ... go on." she added sheepishly.

"At the time I thought she made a good argument. I wanted Kim to know how I felt, I wanted her to know how much she had hurt me. I ... I ... I couldn't do it."

Kim remained calm and composed. Mostly because she was bitting down on her tongue so hard she could taste blood. She was doing that to prevent herself doing what she really wanted to do, which was jumping up and down, sprinting around the room in a happy dance, and then throwing herself on Ron and taking him right then and there. If the 'rents had a problem with that, they could just leave the room. Fighting her desires to do just that, she continued to sit quietly.

"We talked most the night, and then fell asleep on the couch. I think it just made me all more upset. Here I was with, the reason, the justification, the opportunity, and a pretty girl, and I couldn't do it. How could you Kim? Was it such an easy thing for you to do this to me, to us?"

Kim, euphoric a moment ago, was once again experiencing a drastic mood swing and feeling like a worthless piece of scum.

Ann answered for her. "Ron, I think there is an important difference. You were, in one instance and time, confronted with the decision to take a very large step that would effect your's and Kim's relationship. Knowing Kim as well as I do, I think had Kim been addressed out of the blue by Josh, or anyone for that matter, she would have turned them down flat. In my case, as terrible and my mistake was, it wasn't a giant step in the wrong direction. It was a hundred small steps in the wrong direction. Before I knew it, that last step was the one that ended up carrying me across a line that there was no way back from. Kim, is that what happened to you?"

Kim too emotional to speak, grabbed Ron's hand and shook her head 'yes' desperate for him to understand that was what had happened to her.

Ann continued "I think people fail to understand how important it is to guard your mind from improper thoughts and fantasies. They say 'I can look, but I can't touch.' or 'It's just a little harmless flirting, it doesn't mean anything.'. They fail to see the dangers of stepping ever closer to the edge, and then are surprised to find out they fell."

"What did you two do? How did you get past it all?" Ron asked.

"For the next couple of days, our little apartment was an emotional powder keg. I was remorseful for my indiscretion, and James was upset that he let himself lose control and hit me. Despite his sorrow, James was still justifiably upset about the affair. It took two weeks of dancing around each other before we sat down and had a good honest talk about our future."

James continued the story. "We talked about separation and divorce, but neither of us really wanted to let go of the other. We decided to put the affair behind us, to just forget and try to pretend that it never happened."

"You see Ron!" Kim grabbed Ron's arm. "Mom and Dad, found a way. We can too, please baby, forgive me and we can go back to the way things were." Kim searched Ron's eyes. They held a mixture of love and sadness.

"Kim, that would be a mistake." said Ann.

Kim's head snapped to her mother. "What! But you..."

Ann interrupted, "We learned the hard way, there is no forgetting about it. There is no pretending it never happened. I'm sorry Kim, but there are somethings you both deserve to know before you decide whether or not to continue your relationship. I know you don't want to here this, but the relationship you had is over. Now, if you're strong enough to see it through, and willing to try, you can build a new relationship together. We didn't learn this lesson until it was nearly too late. At first we were too scared to open up and talk about our worries and concerns. We bottled up so many things, thinking we were protecting our relationship, we almost ruined it completely."

"With both me and Ann holding in so many issues, we were both an emotional wreck. For the next three months, we could go from crying to fighting at the drop of a hat. One second I'd be screaming and packing to leave and the next we would be making love."

"... sometimes emotion doesn't stop to listen to reason." Ron quoted what James had told him the night before, when he slipped him the condoms.

James nodded knowingly to Ron before continuing. "Finally after four of the hardest months of our life, we decided it was too hard. We still loved each other, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. We started divorce proceedings, and prepared to go our separate ways."

Kim tried to fight back tears at hearing how close her parents came to splitting up. "What stopped you?"

"You did." Replied Ann. "Before we finalized the divorce, we found out I was pregnant with you. It kind of put things in perspective for us. We decided, out of our love for you, and the love we still had for each other, to give it another try. This time we sought out counseling to help us over some of the bigger hurdles. That helped us a lot."

"So I was a mistake?" Kim asked.

"You were not planned, but we never thought of you as a mistake. Kim, you've been off saving the world for several years now, but you should know that before I gave birth to you, you had already saved our world."

Kim crossed the floor to give her parents a big hug and shared a moment before returning to sit next to Ron.

For the next few hours James and Ann talked to Ron and Kim about how the affair had impacted their marriage. They were told how it had changed them, which in turn changes how they interacted. It took time and effort to build a new relationship.

They talked about the importance of trust, and how that had been damaged. Every time someone holds and door for Ann, or she is running late, James is 99 he can trust Ann, but living with that 1 isn't always easy. Ann confessed frustration that James couldn't shake the last bit of doubt, but realized that would have to be her burden to bare as the consequences of her actions. She also knew that because of that doubt, she had to make an extra effort not to give James a reason to worry or doubt. Little things like calling when running late, being careful not to behave in ways that could even be mistaken as flirtatious around other men.

To Kim and Ron's shock, Ann talked about how her affair had caused her to mistrust James. She recognized how ridiculous it was, but she couldn't shake the fear that 'the score' wasn't even, and she wouldn't be able to say anything if he went out and had an affair of his own. They all had a little chuckle when Ann poked James in the ribs, and told him in no uncertain terms that she would actually have very much to say if he ever did.

They talked about how James had questions and fears about exactly what happened between Ann and the other guy. At first Ann tried to say as little as possible, only answering specific questions posed by James, in an effort to put it behind them. Unfortunately it became like a wound that was constantly being reopened. Ann told Kim and Ron how finally she decided to sit down with James and give him every detail. Everything they did, every thing she felt, all of it. That was a tough day for both of them, but there weren't many questions after that, and the questions that did come up brought with them no new revelations.

Jame told them about the consequences of forgiving the affair. The feelings of being emasculated or somehow inadequate. The fear that on some level she would despise you for taking her back, she would despise you for being weak. How hard it was to swallow your pride and listen to your heart. Facing the whispers and looks from others who you suspect know about the affair.

"Kim, are you aware how the brain stores memories?" Kim was a little taken back by her mothers change of topic to work.

"Um ... no."

"It stores memories that are similar, together with memories that are opposite of those memories."

"... okay ..."

"On our fifteenth wedding anniversary me and James celebrated, and had the most perfect night. We were more in love than ever. That night we went to bed, and as I drifted to sleep I thought about how glade I was our relationship had survived." Turning to James her eyes teared a little and she kissed him on the cheek. "I woke up in the middle of the night, and noticed James had his back to me. He was crying. I asked him what was wrong. He didn't want to tell me. I begged him to tell me, and finally he did. In my sleep I called out the name of the other guy." Ann gazed into Jame's eyes with shame and sorrow, James gave her a smile and gave her a brief but passionate kiss.

"It's okay babe, I understand, and I love you."

Kim, who had identified so much with her mother's story pictured her and Ron in the same situation, and the pain and guilt of just imagining that event hit her heart like a sledge hammer.

"I'm convinced my thoughts of how wonderful our lives were going had also triggered me to remember the events that had been the toughest for our marriage. I'm sorry Kim, and I hope that never happens to you, but it is why you have to understand this is something that you can not just get past and forget. If you choose to stay together, this event will become something you will have to live with, and some days it will come back to haunt you."

"Ron," James added "rebuilding our relationship was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But it was worth it. I love Ann, and every day together that love just grows."

Jame and Ann left the room to give Kim and Ron some time alone.

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"How are you holding up KP?"

"Not so good. I just want it to stop. I've hurt you, I hate myself, I find out mom was unfaithful, and dad was abusive and then get to watch them relive their own personal hell. I am a menace. They shouldn't allow me around people. God Ron, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I know I've said that before, but I had no idea just how much I was ask of you when I asked you to forgive me. It's one thing to move past it, it's another to make you live with this. I can't do that to you, I won't do that to you." Tears flowing Kim stood up walked toward the stairway. Before she headed up, she ran back and reaching over the back of the couch gave Ron a big hug and with tears told him. "You are the greatest guy in the world Ron. You're kind, and sweet, and loving, and cute, loyal, and sexy, and to top it all off you are a mind blowingly fantastic lover. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm sorry I screwed it up. I'll always love you, I hope you can find someone that will make you happy, someone that can come close to deserving you." She released the hug and ran upstairs to her room.

Ron sat on the couch, his mind still processing everything everything he had heard that day. Ron wasn't the smarted of guys but even he knew the reasonable thing to do would be to just walk out the door and keep walking. '... sometimes emotion doesn't stop to listen to reason.' His head, feet, and wounded pride were all ready to leave, but his heart kept him rooted to the couch A battle still raged within him. Ron didn't care what other thought about him, but that didn't mean he was without pride. Some lines should not be crossed, and Kim crossed them. How do you forgive and act that is unforgivable? He didn't want to love her anymore, but he did. How you to stop something you've been doing for 14 years, and is as natural to you as breathing? Memories of the last 14 years flashed through his mind. Despite all the world saving missions, it was the rides home that he remembered most. The mission recaps, where she'd tell him how much his help meant to her, how much she counted on him, and then watching her fall asleep on his shoulder, and more recently in his arms. Finally Ron replayed Kim's last words. '... find someone that will make you happy ...' She did love him, she loved him enough to want what was best for him. Some how that was more real to him than all of the _'I love you' _s she had told him earlier.

After what seemed an eternity, Ron got up and headed to Kim's room. She laid there crying with her back to the door.

Hearing someone enter, Kim spoke. "Mom, I just want to be alone right now."

"Sorry KP, no can do."

Not expecting to Ron's voice Kim rolled to her back and looked toward the door. "Ron? Wh ... Why ... Why are you still here Ron? You should get as far away from me as you can. Find a normal girl, and live a happy normal life."

Ron laid down next to Kim, rolled her on her side to face him. "You seam to have forgot my motto 'Never be normal'. Besides, I already found the girl that makes me happy and it's you." Ron leaned in a kissed Kim. It was filled with passion, and caring, and love. It conveyed how deeply his feeling for her ran. She returned his kiss with her own equally filled with love and passion.

Finally needing air, they broke apart. Kim nuzzled into his chest and asked "So what are we going to do Ron?"

"That depends KP. Starting over is going to be a lot of work. I don't want to put in the work, unless we are on the same page. If you don't see us being together 20, 40, 60 years from now, let's end it here. We can salvage our friendship, and still be involved in each other's lives. If you feel anything less than true, romantic, forever and ever kind of love, that I feel for you, you have to have the courage to tell me. You have too respect me enough to tell me. I deserve to be loved that way. You could never hide your feelings from me Kim. If you try to convince me and yourself that you feel that way when you don't, I'll figure it out sooner or later, and it will end badly. I don't think our friendship could survive you breaking my heart a second time. Take all the time you need, but that question has to be answered first."

"I don't need any time Ron. I have loved you for so many years and in so many ways. Despite all our history, the last three days I haven't been crying over fear of losing my best friend. I've been crying over fear of losing the man I love more than anything else in this entire world. I've been crying over fear of losing the children and grandchildren I've pictured us having. I've been crying over the fear of losing all those years of growing old together. I know what I want. I want us to grow old together, and I want to give birth to your children."

"That .." Ron said as he tenderly kissed her lips, and then smiled down at her as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "... was a very good answer. Now, you and your 'Anything is possible for a Possible' attitude, and me with my 'dumb skill' are going to find a way to work through this."

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Fourteen months later

Getting over the affair had been difficult. More so than either had ever expected. They did make it, with the help and support of Ann, James, and a very good counselor. While Kim was in charge during missions, she entrusted Ron with making the decisions in their personal life. It started that way because he needed time to come to terms with the affair, and Kim had to learn to let things happen at his pace. It didn't take long for 'potential boy' to kick into high gear, and Kim recognized that he did the job better than she ever could. They were still equal partners with an equal say in everything. It was just that Kim was content to follow Ron's lead at home. 'Home', that word had new meaning, yet meant so much to her these days. Kim and Ron were living together in a small flat near Oxford where she had started on an International Law Degree, and Ron had opened a small restaurant to support them both. Ron knew Oxford was Kim's dream school, and he found a way to make it happen for her. She had resolved to give up her dreams of Oxford to be with Ron, but now she had both, and she loved him all the more for making it happen.

"KP! How were classes today?"

"They were good, but nowhere near as good as coming home to you." She wrapped him in her arms and gave him a deep kiss. "How is the restaurant doing?"

"Only open a month, and we already have a two month long reservation list. We are making good money, and I'm able to pay extra on the loans. This time next year we should be able to expand, pay for the upgrades in cash. And that is after paying your tuition in full."

"Mom and Dad are happy to pay my tuition. That is what my college fund is for."

"I know that, but I'd rather they didn't next year."

"Why?"

"Um ... No reason really." Ron rubbed the back of his neck and Kim immediately knew he was hiding something.

"Ronnie..." She said as she turned on the puppy-dog-pout. "... what'cha thinking."

_'Be strong' _ he told himself. "I can't tell you, not yet."

Kim was stunned, the 'PDP' never failed, but now the the gauntlet had been laid down, there would be no surrender. 'PDP' in full effect she stepped closer to Ron. This time she slid past his field of vision and rubbed her lower protruding lip against his right earlobe. "Ronnie ..." she breathed in his ear. and then pulled back to look up into his eyes. "... please ..." Now over to his left ear, this time sucking on his earlobe before saying "... tell me."

"Gahhh. Total not fair! Okay!" He guided her to a chair. "Stay there one second." He quickly disappeared and reappeared a moment later. "I'm okay with my girlfriend's parents paying for her college. It's just that next year, I was kind of hoping you wouldn't be my girlfriend."

Kim had a second of panic until she caught a reflection off of the ring, and saw Ron start to kneel before her.

"Kim, my KP, will you ..."

He never got the chance to finish as she launched herself at him and silenced his lips with her own. After coming up for air, tears of joy in her eyes, she said "yes, yes, a thousand, a million times yes. God I love you Ron, I love you so much."

"I love you too."

... the end ...

A/N: Hope you liked it. The flash forward to Oxford felt a little out of place, but I wanted to convey that no matter how well they patched things up, some amount of time was needed to get things back on track, and moving toward the next level.


	3. Chapter 3

I was torn on posting this. I hate when an author adds a comment or two just to bump his story back to the top. I just had so many people ask about who came to visit Ron, and at first, I saved this little secret for those that sent me a review. I liked the bonus idea for my reviewers, but then realized it wasn't fair to the wonderful people that added my story to their alert list, or added me to their author alters. So without further ado, here is what happened that Sunday night when Ron had the chance to 'even the score'.

P.S. If you sent a reply to chapter 2 before I posted this epilogue, you've already read this. Don't feel like you have to send me another story reply. Of course I always love to hear from you.

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**Bonus to Struggling to Survive**

**Who stayed with Ron Sunday night?**

It had taken her about 20 minutes to shake off the shock. Thinking she would talk to Kim for him, in an effort to win Kim's heart, Josh had called her. She still didn't want to believe Kim could have cheated on Ron, but part of her knew it was true. It took her about ten minutes to explain the seven levels of hell she would personally put Josh through if he ever told another living soul about the affair. She had intended to drive over to Kim's to confront her, to slap a little sense into her. The more she drove the less she could stomach the thought of even looking at Kim's face. Instead, she found herself standing in front of Ron's door. When he answered it took half a second to know it was all true, Ron knew about the affair and it had devastated him. He looked like a lost puppy that had somehow survived a weekend at Micheal Vick's house. She didn't say a word, she just hugged him and let him break down in her arms. She couldn't stand to see his pain, she knew right then and there she would do anything to easy his pain. If it meant going as far as to destroy her relationship with her best friend, well she didn't care to much for Kim right now anyway. She didn't waste time, she offered herself to him right away, desperate to remove his hurt. He had started to comply, and in those brief caresses, and those couple of kisses, she learned that cooking was not the boy's greatest skill. He stopped them. Despite it all, he told her he couldn't. She told him it was okay, she was there for him in whatever way he needed her. She spent the night with him on the couch, comforting him and letting him cry himself to sleep. She left the next morning and made him promise to call her if he needed anything.

"I mean it baby boy, you need anything you call me."

"Thanks Monique, your the best." He kissed her cheek as he let her out the door.

--- the end of the bonus material --- the story ended last chapter ---

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If your dieing to know Kim's reaction when and if she finds out about Monique, you'll have to use your own imagination to come up with that one.

Once again, thank you all for the encouraging reviews. I honestly thought this material was a little deep for most people's taste. (Not a put down, I myself don't want to read too many deep stories, I come here for fun.) But I never expected the warm reception the story has received. I am returning to more fun with the resumption of Waste Not Want Not. I hope to get a chapter for that story posted soon.


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